You may well have heard the seasonal prey upon words “What do
you call an empty hot dog?” Answer:
A hollow weenie. But you may
not have realized how expansive is the tricky treat bag of Halloween
puns. There’s something about the lore of Halloween that inspires tour
de farces at the highest level of punnery. The holiday is a veritable Bill
of Frights.
Here’s a menu that I’ve cooked up for Halloween. I know you won’t
be able to resist goblin up this six-corpse meal.


Ghost Toasties Scream of Wheat
Rice Creepies Brain Muffins
Pentagram Crackers with Poisonberry Jam
Baby Bat Ribs Hungarian Ghoul Ash


Fangfurters Frank ’n’ Stein
Deviled Ham Fillet of Soul
Blood Pudding Black Catfish
Stake Sandwitch with Grave-y
Warlocks and Bagels with Scream Cheese
Side Dishes
Strangled Eggs
Deviled Eggs Gashed Potatoes
Scarrots Skullions
Pickled Bats Ghost Liver Pate
Asparagross Spookghetti
Terror-Fried Green Tomatoes
Baked Beings

Adam’s Apples Blood Oranges Necktarines

I Scream Lemoan Pie
Booberry Pie
Ghoulda Cheese
Boo Meringue
Lady’s Fingers
Monster Cheese
Creep Suzette Devil’s Food Cake
Haunted Toll House Cookies
Screech Pie topped with Ghoul Whip
Ghoul Ade Coffin with Scream
Demonade Anxie-tea
Finger Ale Monster
Zombie Apple Spider
Cold Bier Bloody Mary
Blood Light Witch Hazelnut Coffee
Boos Tequila Mockingbird

Dr. Richard Lederer is the author of more than 50 books about language, history and humor, including his newest books, “A Treasury of Halloween Humor” and “A Treasury of Christmas Humor.” To order signed copies, explore his website, or write him Richard Lederer at